There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
