508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
