Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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