i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
