how can u be prego again
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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