Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
