HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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