Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
