I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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