talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
