Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
