Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
