You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize