so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
