That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
