"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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