Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
