I just threw up on my dentist
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
