I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
