I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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