I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I need water and some morals
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
