hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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