There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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