I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
