Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You ate ashes out of my bong
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
