at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize