Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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