just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize