That's intense
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize