I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
