Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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