Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
