a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
50% drunk capacity currently
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
