There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
