I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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