so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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