I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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