Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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