So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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