I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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