That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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