That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
