wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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