Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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