There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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