should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
