Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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