let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
