I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
