i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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