It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
