We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
