i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
