his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
