You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
How's work?
Spinning.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize