That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
