ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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